I accept you
by lunoire22
Summary: Inspired by Adam Lambert's "Better than I know myself" video. Morgane casts a spell on her boyfriend Adam in order to turn him into a Charming Prince. However, things don't go as planned and she finds herself facing a good and an evil Adam now... M for mature scenes, enjoy ! Oh, and since I'm French, I apologize for any mistake I made :)
1. Prologue

I stared at the stars in the sky and told myself that the celestial vault was a spectacle no human being would ever be tired of. Nobody wanted to think about the tons of toxic gas freed in the atmosphere which were forming a hole in the ozone above us. People only focus on the constellations and the deep blue canvas that unifies it all like an astral ocean extended to the horizon. No-one was supposed to think about the pollution or the rain or the end of the world- only the beautiful things.

"What are you thinking about, honey?" Adam asked me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

I turned my head away from the window and snuggled in the blankets, smiling.

"I was thinking I was glad to be with you. And I'm lucky the both of us are where we are today."

He smiled, letting me see his white teeth sparkle in the moonlight. I went closer to him and buried my face in his neck.

We should never remember the negative things, even if they are the ones we remember at best.

Adam is happy with me. I know it; he even told me himself several times. I made him happy so I have nothing to be ashamed of. I don't regret to have cast that spell and I wouldn't reverse it for anything in the world even I knew how to do it.

I'm 21 and I worship a goddess even though it doesn't give me any superpowers like in video games. I didn't have any before this and I never will. It's the only spell I ever casted as a priestess of Venus. A few years ago, I would have laughed at that term because it is also an old expression for prostitutes -which I'm not, of course. However, I grew up; I matured: I took off my posters of beautiful young male singers and dancers and learned to know real ones, boys of flesh and blood- disappointment, clumsiness and bad taste too. And, finally, I wholly devoted myself to the cult I worship: love and its incarnation, Venus.

In the meantime, I also met Adam.

A soon as I became a part of this cult I could read dozens of pages of centuries-old books. My best friend Viviane and I would borrow them from the oldest of our sisters who was quite fond of us. It was very instructive as well as the starting point of my stories. The pages were so old and fragile they would almost detach on their own from the binding. I interpreted it as a sign: when the sister and Viviane weren't looking and I saw the last page of the last book which contained the spell I was interested in remain in my hand, I immediately folded it, stuffed it in my purse and closed the book. Neither of them realized what happened.

I casted the "Prince Charming spell", as it was called, on Adam, my boyfriend at the time, in his sleep. I was nervous but, as a model student, I followed the instructions strictly and everything fell into place after that. Ever since then, he was perfection made man.

First of all, he was gorgeous, which he already was before. I loved to glance at his face with grayish blue eyes and his seductive smirk, his brown hair with reddish reflections and a rock-star haircut, his long slender hands, his muscled arms that opened on pectorals I could rest my head on and listen to the music of his heart, beating for me.

Then, he never expressed nor hid any pain, sadness or bitterness: they had all vanished from his heart- by magic. His character was peaceful, just like the life I lived with him ever since then. He liked to be surrounded by friends as much as he liked to be alone with me. He also naturally tended to be funny, always enthusiastic and, most of all, deeply sincere in his love for the people close to him. As such, I was glad to be the closest to his heart.

He was basically the Good side of Adam, the one who only thought about spreading around him the light that was warming him from the inside.

The problem was that that spell was a double-edged sword, which I only realized after I turned the page of the spell: unlike what I assumed, it wouldn't destroy the negative part of the enchanted being. Instead, it separated it in a completely different one. So now there were two Adams, one of whom I had to fear more than anything else.

That day, I had no problem to distinguish them: after they got disunited, that Adam tried to hit me while the other Adam protected me and kicked him out of his home. I had no idea what he had become since then. Since we had to call him something, we first named him "Z-dam" as a joke. The name stuck since then.

Z-dam was everything Adam hated in him: he was a coward, sly, aggressive, vicious, sad and awfully lonely. It was also easy for me to differentiate them since he had bilious yellow eyes, ghostly pale skin and raven black hair. His charm would only reside in the looks he kept from the original Adam.

But it didn't matter. I was happy with Adam and it was all that mattered.

This is what I was telling myself that night, cradled in his arms in the starlight.


	2. Chapter 1 Pollen and peppermint tea

Adam knows I like to walk in the park, especially in the spring when every flower would bloom. We were walking in one of the alleys, hand in hand, as I was breathing in the sweet scent of pollen in the air.

"Do you like it?"

"Yeah." I answered with a grin.

"Good. You look beautiful today."

"Hey, thanks for yesterday!"

"That's not what I meant!"

"I know, I'm kidding! And what could I say about you? You look—perfect, as always."

"Thanks to you, my love." he replied and kissed me on the cheek.

However, a simple peck wasn't enough for either of us and we let our lips join almost magnetically. I enjoyed the warm feeling this moment would bring in my chest every time.

"Say, Viviane suggested we should go to the movies together this afternoon. What do you think?"

"Sure, why not? What movie is it?"

"I don't remember. It came out a short time ago. It's a romantic comedy."

"Oh no, not some girly stuff!"

"Aw, come on, it's gonna be great! I'll sit on your lap in the dark."

"Yeah, but, well-"

"I'll offer the popcorn."

"Now, that's talking. Let's go!" he said and started walking, pulling me by the arm.

"You jerk!" I answered, laughing, and tried to smack him on the back of his head.

However, he was faster and dodged it. He then took advantage of my surprise, wrapped his arms around me and lifted me to make me spin in the air, which would always make me laugh like I was 8 again. This time, we ended up falling on the ground with me on top of him, the both of us still giggling.

"I'd love to ask you how you manage to always be so perfect. But I already know the answer."

He smiled at me again and we both sat in the grass.

"You're always willing to do anything, yet you're not passive. You're not jealous, yet I know you'll do everything to keep me close to you. You're optimistic but not naïve. You're a party animal but also quiet when you feel like it. You're beautiful—I must admit I envy you when I see so much perfection."

"You don't need a spell to be perfect, honey."

"Stop it," I replied and smiled. "you know that's not true. When I see you and I see how happy you are, I keep telling myself maybe I should try to separate from my dark side too."

"I know you try to do it every day."

"Yeah, every day. To deserve you."

He stared into my eyes, took my face in one hand and kissed me again, letting out tongues speak our second language in which words weren't welcome.

"Isn't that cute-"

It was Adam's voice. However, it didn't come from his lips. We both turned our heads.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Adam, the real one, asked.

There was Z-dam, standing in his long, black coat which he probably bought with Adam's stolen money. He had also drawn a thick line of eyeliner around his eyes which accentuated their crazy look. He turned them at me and almost made me jump. A strong smell of whisky was floating around him and he kept swaying lightly.

"You don't say a thing, Morgane? Have you already forgotten me?"

"You don't belong here. Get out." Adam told him in a harsh tone.

"Watch your mouth. I remind you that we're the same person. So I have all the rights to be here and stay as long as I want. Especially around her," he insisted in a sharp tone and stared at me again with the gaze of a wild beast.

"What are you gonna do?" Adam asked. "Fight? Here?"

"No. I won't. Don't you believe it's gonna be so easy for you to be happy without me. In case you haven't understood yet, I will make your life miserable as long as the three of us will live. Because that's all you deserve."

"Get the fuck out of here!" Adam yelled at him.

Standing still, Z-dam pointed his index at his alter-ego with a threatening look.

"You—You're definitely next on my list. You shouldn't stay with her, that fucking witch."

"If you don't want to leave, then we will." Adam concluded, took my hand and walked as far away as he could from him.

"I'll be there!" I heard him claim loudly, allowing everybody on the streets to hear him. "And I'll wait for you too, Morgane! Be sure of that!"

Adam and I walked home, that is the apartment we had rented together since his transformation. My first action was to put the kettle on to make some tea, which I would always do when I was stressed.

"That scumbag-" I muttered. "There we go. He ruined our day again! I'm tired of looking for places where he won't harass us."

"Forget it. That guy is not worth the breath we waste talking about him."

"I can't get used to the fact that he was a part of you before-"

"-Which is why it's called "before". He's not anymore."

I didn't reply to that and opened the cupboard to choose a flavor of tea. But I then felt Adam come closer behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Look at me."

I turned to face him. He was so tall I had to raise my head to look him in the eyes. He then took my face in his hands and whispered as he pressed his brow against mine:

"It's all in the past."

He kissed my brow and I held him in my arms, sighing. I then heard with delight his heart beat against my temple.

"You're right after all."

"I'm always right."

"Sure, show-off—you still want to go to the movies?"

"Yeah, sure. Also, I'll get a peppermint tea, this time."

"Me too."


	3. Chapter 2 At the movies

"Morgane!"

I heard my friend's voice and turned. She was waiting in front of the cinema. Just in time, as usual.

"Hi, Viviane!"

We both hugged. Viviane also greeted Adam, the only guy in the world who knew we were both sisters of the cult of Venus.

"Long time no see!"

"Last time was at the last circle of prayers." my best friend pointed out.

"Yeah. You look good, I see!"

"I'm fine, thanks. What about you?"

"Tired. But since I'm perfect, it's unnoticeable, that's all" I said, pretending to arrange my hair.

"Quit showing off, liar. Adam, you look good!"

"Thanks, Viviane."

"No, really, you look—different. It's something I can't define."

"Yeah, everybody keeps telling him that. They find him more solar!" I cut her off before she started to have a taste for her new curiosity, which wasn't to mine.

"It's something like that. But I know I'll find the right term. It's just a question of time!"

"So, are we going to watch the movie or what?"

"Let's go!"

We entered the cinema. Fortunately, it wasn't too crowded so we were quickly settled in the projection room. When Viviane went to the bathrooms, Adam turned at me.

"I think you should tell her."

"About what? The spell? Are you crazy? She's gonna kill me if she finds out!"

"But you've been friends for a long time. And I know you; I know you're mad at yourself for hiding things from her."

"I know—but I can't tell her. She wouldn't understand."

"You can't be sure about it."

I grunted.

"She'll probably make a huge fuss and I'll get my daily life lesson _"Do you realize how dangerous this is, you're playing with the forces of nature, and Adam in all that-",_ and stuff"

"Well, Adam is very happy about the situation."

I smiled and took his hand.

"You are?"

He nodded. At the same time, Viviane came back and sat next to us.

"And I'll go even further. You don't seem to realize it but-"

The room went darker, the hum of the crowd turned into whispers, then a complete silence. However, Adam leaned over to me and whispered in my ear:

"You saved me."

I couldn't realize what he had just said. I was so moved I stood there flabbergasted, then pressed my hand on his nape to make him come closer and kiss him.

"Hey, lovebirds! Don't do the trailer of the next movie, this one's barely started!"

"Ha ha, not funny." I replied in a low voice. "I don't care, _"I"_ have a boyfriend."

Viviane stuck out her tongue at me and the first notes of the opening started at full blast in the obscure room.

By the middle of the film, I still couldn't focus. Only one question constantly came back in my mind which I asked Adam as he was dozing off on his seat:

"Do you think we can go back to the park later? Or will Z-dam still be there?"

Adam turned at me, now fully awake.

"I don't know. I know him well; he must probably be somewhere in a bar, getting drunk with whisky and get into fights with clients or brag about a new knife he bought."

I felt my blood run cold.

"He has a knife?"

Adam shrugged as he answered in all honesty:

"I like knifes. He's a big spender. I'm sure that now that he's free to do whatever he wants, he's gonna spend astronomical sums in rare trinkets."

We then got abruptly shushed for a moment. Among the silhouettes in the room, my eyes focused on one of them and my heart stopped. I leaned over Adam again.

"He's there."

He turned at me, unconvinced.

"No, he's not."

"I'm telling you, he is. He went inside. And now he's gonna wait for us at the exit."

"And I'm telling you he will not."

"We got to get out. Please, let's go out. I don't feel so good."

Once we got outside of the cinema, I breathed in deeply to calm my nerves.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah"

"You're sure Adam was inside with us?"

"No. I just felt it, but maybe it was just an impression."

"Baby-"

Adam took me in his arms and cradled me a little as I let my head rest on his shoulder. Suddenly, my phone vibrated. It was a message from Viviane:

"You ok?"

I started typing:

"Felt dizzy, but I'm better now-"

My answer was incomplete as I hesitated on the way to end it. I looked at Adam.

"What do we do? Do we go back or do we leave?"

"We do as you like."

"Honestly, I'd rather go back home." I admitted. "I don't think I'll be able to watch the movie without thinking I'm being spied on."

"Ok, let's go then."

I concluded the message and sent it as we both left, hand in hand.


	4. Chapter 3 Z-dam

The next day, I woke up in my boyfriend's arms as usual, where I felt the safest. I felt his head rest against my shoulder and I sighed with delight.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked as he himself was still a little drowsy.

"I did, yes."

"Did you recover from the emotions of yesterday?"

I sighed.

"I'm sorry I made a scene. I shouldn't have freaked out like that. I think your story about the knives triggered it all."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't be." I said and kissed him on the cheek. "You were honest with me, as always. I just hope Viviane wasn't too upset that we left her all alone. But it's a detail. Everything is fine, really."

"I love you." he whispered very close to my mouth.

"I love you too."

He kissed me and once again, I felt the electricity run in my system at the contact of his lips. The fact that we were still in our bed half-naked intensified the sensation and I pressed my body against his to appreciate it even more. He must have felt it too as he pinned me against the mattress and settled on top of me. The heat started to turn into shivers all over my skin. However, we then got abruptly interrupted: the bell rang on the other side of the apartment, which made us both grunt in frustration.

"It must be Viviane." I declared softly.

"Too lazy- don't feel like getting up." Adam said and collapsed by my side.

"Fine, I'll get it."

I stood up and casually put on a shirt and pants before Adam's eyes as he leaned against the wall.

"Enjoying the show?" I said with a smirk.

"Not missing a single bit."

"Stop it, I don't like it." I objected. "I'm too skinny."

"Well then, that gives me an excuse to take all the blankets at night."

I stuck out my tongue at him and headed towards the entrance as the bell kept ringing.

"Yeah, Viviane, I know. I'm sorry about yester-" I started, opening the door.

I then let out a frightened scream as I recognized the pale, black silhouette. I then heard Adam rush out to me, still in his underwear.

"You," he muttered between his gritted teeth and instinctively stepped forward to stand between him and me. "You're such a pain in the ass."

"Pain in the ass? That's the way you call me, too?"

He smiled. He was sober that day. His white teeth did not contrast much with his bone-white face.

"No, that's right. You guys gave me another nickname: Z-dam – nice choice of pronunciation, congratulations. So it sounds like I'll be the last one on Earth to ever approach you. Isn't that right, Morgane?"

"What do you want, this time?" Adam cut him off.

"Can I come in?"

"You've got to be kidding."

Z-dam didn't flinch.

"Alright."

However, as Adam was about to close the door, he stuck his foot inside and took out a shiny pocket knife from his coat, which froze us both: he pointed out the blade at only a few inches from Adam's face.

"Then I'll talk to you on the doorstep. Not to her, to you, _"A-dam"_." he articulated ironically, staring into his eyes. Light blue against yellow.

"We have nothing to tell each other."

"We got everything, on the contrary. We used to be the same guy, I already told you. And we always will. She harmed us a lot by splitting us." he said and pointed at me with the finger of his other hand with black nail polish and silver rings. "And you're harming yourself a lot by refusing to admit it. Because you're in pain too, aren't you? You feel that void inside you and it's unbearable."

For a minute, there was silence. I observed Adam. He should have said something a long time ago but—was that stupor I could see in his eyes? Z-dam probably noticed it too. He smirked.

"I knew it. You play hero because she's there but deep inside, you're just like me. You feel it every day but you don't show a thing. Face it! You know that witch doesn't want to hear about it. She only wants the Good, perfect Adam. That's why she refused normal Adam so intensely; that's why she's a part of that freaks religion. She's insane. She destroyed us."

He then turned his sick yellow eyes at me and articulated it between his teeth:

"You destroyed me."

He then looked at Adam again.

"Leave her."

"Not for a second as long as you're around."

"Fine. Then I'll make you."

But before Z-dam could do anything, Adam sent his weapon fly in the hallway and they both grasped each other outside the apartment. They were both equally strong but I took advantage of Adam's help to immediately grab the knife that had been thrown away and folded the blade despite my great fear of edged weapons. Although my knees were shaking, step by step, I got closer to Z-dam who had his back turned on me, still fighting with Adam. When he saw what I was doing, Adam forced him to step back until I was able to hit him hard on the head with the handle of the knife, which made him cry out in pain. Then Adam punched him in the face so hard blood was sprayed over the linoleum.

"What is going on?" one my neighbors screamed in panic as she opened her door.

When she saw both young men in the middle of a fight and the blood on the floor, she screeched:

"Oh my God, I'm calling the police!"

"No need, old hag." Z-dam replied and stepped back pathetically. "I'm not from here."

He spit some more blood on the floor and walked down the stairs, glaring at us. We, too, knew the police would never be enough to stop him.


	5. Chapter 4 A plan

Reluctantly, silently, we ended up cleaning up Z-dam's blood in the corridor of our building. Luckily, Adam hadn't been hurt too much.

"You're okay?" I asked Adam, shyly.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

As I leaned on my floor cloth, I went closer to give him a better look.

"You're bleeding too." I said and pointed at the corner of his mouth.

He wiped it out and saw the trace in the palm of his hand, all red and shiny.

"It's still bleeding."

"I don't get it. I wasn't hit in the face, though."

"Hold on, we need to take care of this."

After we put the floor clothes away, I took him to the bathroom where I made him sit on the tub rim and pressed a wash glove full of ice on his cheek, which made him flinch.

"Ouch!"

"Sorry."

I applied it more gently until the blood stopped pouring.

"I hope you didn't break a tooth."

"But I'm not hurt!"

"You're right—but Z-dam is." I realized.

We both looked at each other. Adam was now holding the compress in place by himself.

"So basically, he and I are more connected than we thought – that explains why he always knows where we are going. He knows it through me!"

He seemed surprised by my silence. I looked him in the eye.

"Is it true, what he said? That, sometimes, you don't feel good around me?"

He stopped me with a gesture of the hand.

"Let's not think about what he said,—are you crying? What's wrong?"

"I don't know—I'm more and more scared. I don't know what we're gonna do."

He took me in his arms and kissed me on the top of my head.

"We'll find a solution. Don't worry."

"Yeah, but how? Wherever we go, there are always chances he'll find us! And if he managed to come to our home, then there isn't many chances left to hide from him in the future."

Adam became thoughtful.

"We need to find a place where we're sure he won't find us."

I started thinking too and declared out loud:

"I know the only place where we've never been together is Viviane's home."

He smiled and seemed to approve.

"Even _"I"_ don't know where she lives."

"Let's give her a call, then! I'm sure she'll be okay to let us stay at her place for a few days- just long enough to let us find a way to get rid of this psycho for good!"

However, for a moment, Adam's expression went darker.

"What's wrong?"

"If we leave together, there are chances he'll find us quickly. I'd better stay here and let you go without me."

"What? Are you kidding? If we have to escape, I want to do it with you!"

"I know. But as long as I don't know where you are, neither will he."

"But he's dangerous-"

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

I took him in my arms to hear the reassuring sound of his heartbeat one more time. I was furious to know that Z-dam had succeeded in his mission to separate us, even only temporarily.


	6. Chapter 5 You destroyed me

"Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Yes, mummy."

"I'll come back as soon as I can."

"Yes, mummy."

"And stop mocking me like that!"

"Yes, mummy."

Even on our doorstep, the separation was still hard. However, we finally managed to say goodbye, which I refused to do as long as the door of the elevator was not completely closed on me and Viviane then took us to the ground floor.

"So, let's unpack your things." Viviane told me once we arrived at her apartment.

"Wow. What an awful week!" she said after I told my story.

"Yeah, you can say that again. And we don't know what to do to make him leave us alone."

"Did you try to call the cops?"

I shrugged.

"He's a special guy. He doesn't care. It doesn't scare him at all."

Viviane smirked.

"Who would have thought your boyfriend would hide from you the fact he had a twin. An evil twin, nonetheless."

"Ha ha, very funny."

"Well, that's the way you described him to me."

"Yeah, good point."

"So that's why you left, at the movies?"

"It is."

"Aw, sweetheart-"

She hugged me in her arms. Viviane's arms were the second spot where I felt safe. Then, as a relaxation therapy, she turned on her stereo and let our favorite album –"No Transgressing", or something like that, from an artist whose name I can't remember- play the whole afternoon. The living room became a dance-floor and a karaoke room turn by turn, to Viviane's neighbors end of tranquility.

"When is the next circle of prayers?"

"Next Thursday. I can't wait."

"I can imagine that. You've always been the most talented of us all."

Viviane smiled. Ever since our oldest sister had called her "Venus reincarnation", she was floating on cloud nine. She truly had all qualities to be a chosen one. She was funny, caring, upbeat, sensual—everything of a real woman. Everything I will never be enough to match her.

The next day, since we were still on weekend, I could sleep all morning and keep enjoying her company until the afternoon.

"I'm gonna go see some friends. Wanna come with me?"

"I'm sorry; I had planned to see Adam this afternoon."

She smiled.

"You can't let go of him now."

"I know, but he's perfect!"

"Fine, enjoy his perfection, then—As a good old single, I'll just go see my dozens of friends while you guys will be all alone with just the two of you!"

"That's mean!"

"I love you too. See ya!"

I waved at her and she closed the door, leaving me on my own. Since I was still in my pajamas, I put on some clothes and decided to make some tea and listen to music again.

At that moment, the bell rang.

"Did you forget you keys?" I asked loudly.

However, since Viviane didn't answer, I went to open the door.

Oh God no it can't be not him please tell me I'm dreaming anything but him it can't be.

"Z-dam," I said in a weak voice as I felt my knees go numb. "What—How did you-"

"You were right. I am spying on you."

He abruptly pushed the door open and closed it behind him. On the inside, my brain was making a will. We both stared at each other silently with me, short of breath and him, standing still. His pupils were dilated today and he lightly slurred:

"You destroyed me." he repeated.

"That's what you said last time." I said with a small voice.

"And I'll repeat it as many times as necessary to make you remember it."

He brought his hand to his belt and I stepped back. He drew out a new dagger, bigger and thinner than the last one. I opened my eyes wide and he smirked.

"Beautiful, isn't it? It's not even a real knife. It's a decorative one. The other one was an army knife. 8.7 inches long, 2.4 inches large, Gothic handle and metal engraved—they even asked me if I wanted the wooden base to put it on.

He playfully let it go from one hand to the other, making the blade shine in the light. He then slid his index distractedly over the edge of the blade.

"It's the most beautiful I ever bought. Yet, it's not enough."

His index bled, tracing a thin red line over the cold metal, which he then brought to his lips and on his tongue. He went even closer to me and I kept stepping back, incapable of looking away, but ended up stuck against the wall behind me. He then put his arms on each side of me and came up so close I could smell his breath that stunk whisky. My heart was beating at the speed of a machine gun and I felt ready to faint.

"Please don't kill me." I whispered as I was struggling not to sob.

Impassive, he firmly planted his knife in the wall next to my head, which made me jump.

"If you only knew how much I dream of this," he articulated between his gritted teeth. "I'm constantly in pain because of you and you damn spell. I got all the evils, all the faults, all the pains that I—that Adam suffered from when he was just one. And you abandoned me, shooed me away like a filthy beast for your selfish happiness. And I became your scapegoat. It is your entire fault."

He then took me by the throat with one hand and I let out a strangled gasp. His face was incredibly close to mine, keeping that blank expression.

"So why do I still love you?"

His tone of voice took me off guard. It was sheer pain like I had never heard in Adam's voice.

"I sense everything; I see everything with the other one's eyes. I know his love for you. I can feel all the sensations and it's my only consolation in my hell. Yet it's also another reason to want to annihilate you both. I hate you but I could die for you—Because of you, I'm stuck between both extremes."

He slid his bleeding finger on my face and I saw the metallic reflection of the red line he left on my cheek.

"I go from one to the other without ever stopping-"

His dilated eyes looked softer, probably because I saw less the bilious yellow and more the eyes of the Adam I used to know. I remember I had already seen him with that kind of expression in the moments I would leave him alone. He would tell me he was only thinking and that was fine by me. I myself was already busy with my "prince" plans back then.

"Z,-Adam" I whispered.

Without thinking, I brought my hand to his cheek. He put his hand on mine, closed his eyes and pressed it a little harder on his face, which made him sigh with contentment. At that moment, he reminded me of the other Adam, the one of the light, when I applied my ice compress on him.

"You tear me apart. And yet I forgive you. My world is all about Morgane. Morgane and only Morgane."

He brought his face closer to mine and I let him go on. Gently, almost shyly, his lips joined to mine and I soon felt the taste of whisky on my tongue. Those lips were familiar, yet the sensations were completely different. He pinned me against the wall and wrapped his arms around me as the kiss intensified. Only after I closed my eyes did I feel the coldness of metal against my hip.

"What are you doing?" I exclaimed and tried to move away from the blade.

However, he held me tighter and forced me to stay still as he approached the knife to my hip again.

"Stop it. I don't want to." I said when I realized what he had in mind.

"Come on. You'll see. You're gonna like it."

He inserted the blade between my skin and the seams of my shirt and I heard them being slowly cut from the bottom to the top. Meanwhile, he kept breathing hotly in my neck -he knew I liked it- which gave me shivers that were multiplied by the cold blade. I was short of breath. When he reached the collar, he slid his expert hands up to my bare shoulders and tried to do the same with the straps of my bra.

"Put your knife down, please."

"What if I don't want to?"

"I said put it down."

He touched my spine with the point of the knife lightly and smirked. Annoyed, I grabbed the wrist that was holding the blade and he quickly freed himself from my grasp before he brought it to my chin.

"Now cut the childish act and let me do it." he demanded and stared at me coldly, just like he would before.

"Are you crazy? I said I didn't want to! Stop it!" I said as he put his hands on my back again.

However, he looked at me with that smirk again with all traces of pain and weakness vanished from his face.

"Just try to stop me." he asked, playing with his knife around my face again.

He was still blocking me against the wall with an iron pressure. I instinctively hit his crotch with my knee as hard as I could, which made him bend over, mute with pain. I immediately took advantage of it and ran to the door.

Wearing just a skirt and a bra, bare foot in the stairs, a race started between him and me as he tried to catch me in spite of the pain that was slowing him down and I tried to exit the building and call anybody in the street for help. At that moment, my only allies were the echo of our steps and Z-dam's screams which would indicate me the distance between him and me.

Outside, the sidewalk was desert and only occupied with badly-parked cars on both sides of the road. The blood was surging through my temples like blows of a hammer when I heard Z-dam's insults and his loud claudicating footsteps getting closer and closer to the heavy iron doors. Suddenly, I saw a mother and her child walk between two cars on the other sidewalk. I ran as fast as I could towards the woman to catch her attention but then I heard a screech of brakes and I found myself projected and hit the asphalt with my nose against the road next to a wheel. The only things I remember before I fainted were a female voice shrieking on the phone and trying to reassure her crying son, along with two yellow eyes fixed on me, full of fear.


	7. Chapter 6 At the hospital

The car that hit me was at a low speed: I was rather lucky. I only had a bandage around my left knee as it had lightly twisted in my fall and a band-aid on my forehead. Since it still hurt and I needed to learn how to walk with crutches, I had a hospital bed and some visitors. I smiled when the first one arrived, Adam, who held me tight in his arms like I was about to fall from a cliff. He was obviously more shocked than I was. His face was stern and he clenched his fists.

"I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch."

"Stop it. It's useless to say that."

"You could have died!"

"I know-"

I remembered Z-dam's look.

"Did they find him?"

Adam shook his head.

"He ran away when the ambulance arrived. The cops are looking for him. But since he doesn't have a name and he looks like me, it won't be easy."

"I knew it. Make sure they don't arrest you when you get out." I said and smirked.

However, he didn't reply.

"That bastard's life is gone." he repeated between his gritted teeth.

"Don't call him that. It sounds like you're insulting yourself."

"He's not me, stop saying that! I'm not like him. I never will again."

As he said that, he held my hand and rolled his thumb in my palm. I smiled at him but he then took his head in his hands and tensed.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry." he said with his eyes tight shut.

He held still for a second, hissing. Then the fit seemed to stop.

"Don't tell me it's nothing! Tell me what it is!"

"I don't know." he admitted. "It's happened before but it's gotten worse recently. It's not throbbing like a migraine. It's something else. I feel like it's attacking me deeper than that."

I remained silent.

"You _do_ know what it is—don't you?"

He turned his head at me, ready to contradict me, then bowed his head in defeat.

"Z-dam is doing this to you." I went on.

He nodded and raised his head to smile at me and hold my hand again.

"It doesn't matter. No matter what he does to attack me, the most important is that he doesn't harm you."

I tried to lean forward to kiss him when I heard a knock on the door and we both turned. The nurse came in.

"You've got one more visitor. After that, I'll come back for your reeducation."

"Alright, thank you."

She left. Adam looked at me with a small smile.

"I guess I'll have to go, then."

"No, stay a little longer," I said, keeping my hand in his. "I don't care; you'll have to carry me for the rest of your life!"

"I think it would be better if you could stand on both of your legs. Bye, my princess."

"I love you."

"I love you too." he said and kissed me on the lips.

He headed towards the door and with me keeping my eyes on him, smiling, until he opened it to face Viviane, smiling much less.

"Hi, Adam."

She didn't give him the time to reply and came into my room with firm steps until she was in front of my bed, facing me.

"I'll leave you both alone." Adam said in an undertone and left.

He too must have felt that Viviane was not in the mood for playing ladies-in-waiting. After Adam closed had closed the door, she finally decided to start talking.

"I know what you did. I can't believe I bought your bullshit _"evil twin"_ story—Helen called me. There's a page missing in one of her books. You're completely insane."

I didn't flinch, even though I knew it would be useless to play around with her from now on.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "To use a magic spell nowadays when you've never done anything like this—are you out of your mind or something? And the "Prince Charming" spell? Is that why Adam changed so much from one year to the other? You bewitched him?"

"Enchanted him." I corrected her.

She took my joke as a provocation and her blue eyes, usually so kind, turned ice cold grey, glaring.

"You haven't changed. For the 6 years I've known you, I've never read you so clearly.— You don't care about love, you never did. All you care about is you and you alone with that fake love. You love yourself through him. You like to be taken care of and treated like a queen. Actually, you're still acting like you were 15."

"And you always act like you're 220 years ahead of us all, puny humans." I replied with a contemptuous smirk. "You always knew when to give me a lesson when you had to, always learned yours better than everyone else. You're perfect, you're beautiful, you're smart— You and your "reincarnation" title can fuck off. I'll stay with my misery and my perfect boyfriend."

"I don't know what you're getting into with all that, but you're getting in headlong. And I don't like it."

"If that's what you think then get out."

She didn't budge.

"Get out! " I yelled. "Get the fuck out of here!"

In the end, she left, walking towards my door as quietly as if she hadn't heard me and not without letting me see her disappointed face one last time. Finally, my best friend opened the door and went away. There I was, left on my own, lost in the middle of the empty bedroom with a leg twisted by my boyfriend's dark side that I rejected. My only external support had just gone through the door.

When the nurse arrived, I was sobbing, one knee pressed against me and the other one dangling out of the bed pathetically.


	8. Chapter 7 Don't talk to me like this

I came back to live in our apartment the same evening. Viviane's words were still ringing in my head, just like Adam's and Z-dam's. I would sleep less and less at night. I felt like Z-dam's look was following me everywhere. But it's wasn't hate, it was worse than that. It was the look of a tracked-down wolf looking at one of his cubs die before his eyes.

One night after dinner, Adam grimaced once again because of one of his "migraines".

"Do you want an aspirin?"

"It's no use. I already took three, it doesn't work." he muttered. "That's not where it hurts anyway."

Once again, we drank our tea in silence, until his features softened again. I noticed his gestures were slower than usual and his face was a little more sunken.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked and put down my cup.

"Sure."

"How did you manage to take so well the fact that you were enchanted?"

As he was about to drink, his hands holding the cup froze half way. However, he then took a sip and replied:

"I just wanted the both of us to be happy. And that's what you wanted. You know, I meant it when I said I was relieved to be without Z-dam."

"I know, so was I—But how did you live it, inside?"

He seemed to hesitate and I realized as he leaned into his chair that another seizure was about to take place but I didn't let go:

"Answer me."

I guess it was the equivalent of torture to force him to answer while he was in pain. As the seizure ended up not to happen, he calmed down and finally sighed.

"You want to know? Fine. Before long, I got accustomed to it—because you didn't give me any choice. I fall asleep one night and, the next morning, I find myself split in two with one half trying to kill my girlfriend. A while later, I learn that she's the one responsible for it; she cries, begging me not to leave her because of this—I myself don't feel the same at all anymore and I become addicted to this permanent state of grace—What else did you want me to do?"

As I took my eyes off him, he fell silent. I sprang to my feet.

"I knew it. Even _"you"_ are like them."

"Like who? What are you talking about?"

"About the "Prince Charming" stuff!" I shouted. "Be it Viviane or Z-dam himself, they all agree to tell me that casting that spell was a mistake! And now I learn that even you agree with them!"

"Calm down! That's not what I said!"

"But you think I'm an idiot too, don't you?"

"Stop it, that's the fear talking. You're just tired, we need to-"

"Will you fucking answer me?"

"Ok, now, stop talking to me like that, I am not your pet!" he exclaimed and got up too.

I had forgotten at this moment how tall he was compared to me.

"You want to hold me accountable? You want us to fight? Ok, tell me then: why didn't you ask me if I wanted you to cast that spell on me?"

He looked me straight in the eyes, without anger. All he was doing was waiting for my answer, which unfortunately didn't come.

"You knew I was going to say no, that I would refuse to take that risk. I understand your reaction; you preferred to act on the quiet. Besides, it would have implied to take responsibility in the presence of a witness—somebody who knew the only being capable of loving you is not human."

The slap was automatic. I myself was surprised by the sound of it: I, Morgane, had just slapped my perfect boyfriend, a sheer Good being. He didn't flinch. Without even rubbing his cheek, he turned his face at me again, which now had a red mark on the left side.

"I tried to be honest with you and this is how you repay me."

Once again, I kept quiet. In both silence and words, every moment was hurting me as much as if he had slapped me back. Without looking at me, he headed towards the entrance and put his jacket on.

"From the very first day I—Adam accepted you as you are, good or bad."

"Where are you going?"

"Out, get some fresh air. I haven't been alone in a long time."

"I'll go make some tea." I said in a detached manner and turned my back on him.

He paused before he opened the door. However, I refused to listen to all that oh so calculated silence had to say. He then finally went out and slammed the door.

I was left alone, something I was no longer used to. I also realized that, aside from Adam and Viviane, I didn't have true friends. They were the only ones I had in the world. I was a freak.

As I had put the kettle on, I emptied it in the sink, cleared the table and got ready to go out too to my and Adam's favorite bar: "Mirror, mirror". I was probably going to meet him there. Otherwise, I would spend the evening all alone, brooding over my dark thoughts, which was the way I would spend my evenings when I was from 14 to 16.


	9. Chapter 8 Mirror Mirror

Even though it wasn't my prime objective, the idea of finding Adam made my heart pound like crazy as I pushed the door of the bar. After a quick look around, I saw he wasn't in the crowd of drinkers. Maybe he had gone to the park to enjoy tonight's cool wind for his symptoms. And so, a little disappointed, I resigned myself to spend the night alone, listening to young people of my age in the back of the bar laugh and celebrate some stupid stuff to which I didn't belong.

However, as I approached the counter, I saw, sitting on a stool, a familiar silhouette with a long black coat and the same haircut as my Adam. With his head bent over his glass of brown liquor, he kept turning it clockwise, looking thoughtful, his mouth twisted in a disgusted grimace. Tonight, his make-up seemed to have been done in a rush, like a chore. I sat not far from him. When he noticed me, he briefly turned his head at me before he brought all his attention back to his full glass.

"Leave me alone." he grunted. "I'm not in the mood, tonight."

"I don't care about what you think. What did you take?"

Surprised at first, he then smirked.

"A peppermint tea"

"I'll have what he had." I told the barman.

He nodded and handed me a glass of whisky. As soon as it was put down on the counter, I drank half of the glass. The liquid was bitter and sickly sweet but the burning sensation it brought in my throat felt amazing.

"Trouble in paradise?"

"Yes, you completed your mission, congratulations," I declared, irritated. "Adam and I argued. Want me to pay you a drink to celebrate?"

He smirked again.

"I knew it was going to happen."

"And I know that's all you've been waiting for."

He glanced at me with a contemptuous face.

"You disgust me."

"Not as much as I disgust myself. I can assure you."

And so, sitting side by side and yet feeling on our own, like ghosts isolated from the rest of the world we both drank in silence the second half of our glasses. I myself ordered a second one and drank half of it once more.

"I'm so sick of hurting like this." he moaned and took his head between his hands.

"So do I. It's unbearable."

"Don't even try to compare your pain to mine; you just can't do it." he hissed.

"It's like somebody ripped your heart out, doesn't it?"

He turned his head at me as mine was starting to lightly heat up. I stood up with my elbow on the counter to get closer to him.

"It's like somebody locked your heart in a circle of iron and tightened it up to the point where it can barely beat yet you're still alive. A voice in your head is screaming, begging to free you or let you die but not to let you in this in-between state-"

Since he had started to drink earlier, he was drunker than me. He ended it himself:

"And you permanently live with that bear-trap in your chest that makes you cringe every time something threatens to touch it. Who knows if it wouldn't tighten a little more and make your heart burst for good if somebody reached it?"

I was so close to him by the end of it that my fingers were brushing his on his glass.

"Maybe we could try to open each other's, then."

"Fucking witch— I'll kill you some day." he muttered between his teeth.

However, as he was saying that, his fingers intertwined with mine on his empty whisky glass. Memories of the early evening came back to my mind and tears welled up in my eyes.

"Fine; you can kill me if you want." I replied in a voice choked by sobs. "I even encourage you to do it. I hate myself, do you understand? That should make you happy."

I plunged my hand in the pocket in which I was sure to find the knife but he grabbed my wrist and forced my hand to reach his face before he pressed it against his cheek. As he looked me in the eyes, I took his other one with a trembling hand, brought it to my face and did the same on my cheek.

"You're so beautiful." I said.

He brought me closer to him and nuzzled his face in my neck.

"I love you, you know. I love you like a mad man."

It was a mistake. We were making a big mistake. But tonight, against all my principles, I wanted to lead it to the end.


	10. Chapter 9 The next day

When we arrived home, as I was closing the door, Z,—dark Adam pinned me with my chest against the door and the palms of his hands on the backs of mine, biting my neck eagerly.

"Wait—wait, wait until we get to the bedroom at least." I whispered as the rising heat flooding in my veins, stimulated by the alcohol, made me struggle to breathe normally.

"I don't give a shit," he grunted the same way, "I want you here and now."

In our struggle, I succeeded nonetheless to bring him to the couch where he pulled me by the collar of my shirt and kissed me. Although he was stronger than me, I managed through trickery to turn it against him and make him fall on the couch. I then found myself on top of him without interrupting our kiss. The sweat was making our clothes sticky. After he had unbuttoned it, dark Adam made my shirt slide along my shoulder and licked a few droplets of sweat along the way. As for me, I slid my own hands underneath his shirt to feel his abs and unbuttoned his pants. But he took advantage of this brief moment to sit up and make us turn so he was now on top of me. This position made me shiver as I felt his erection pressed against my crotch. Every garment fell on the floor one by one in the dark. When I heard the metallic sound of the knife falling down, muffled by the cloth it was wrapped in, I glanced at dark Adam. However, he smiled softly at me, which reassured me. His golden eyes highlighted by black eyeliner were shining like those of a cat in the darkness. When he went inside me, I let him enter little by little with each of his thrusts giving me spasms of intense pleasure. He himself clung on to me, growling softly like a predator devouring his prey. Our struggles, kisses and moans went on for who knows how long. The one thing is that, had it lasted for a millennium, it would still have felt to me like a single minute, with our climaxes following closely one after the other without ever stopping.

When I reopened my eyes, it was broad daylight. I found myself laying naked in Z-dam's arms who was also naked and playing with my hair lazily, his head resting against one of the armrests of the couch.

"You're finally awake, lazybones."

I hesitated to reply to him. I only shared that kind of intimacy with Adam, the other one, my boyfriend. I became sullen again and cursed the whisky of yesterday to not have been strong enough to last until the morning. I tried to get up but Z-dam grabbed me by the arm.

"Stay with me."

I turned towards him. He kept his eyes on me, waiting, and was now stroking my arm with his other hand up to my shoulder.

"Stay with me." he repeated. "Leave the other one. I love you so much-"

"I can't, it's—I can't."

His face darkened when he heard that word. He let go of my arm and bowed his head.

"You'll always prefer the other one rather than me." he said with a discouraged expression. "I'm the bad guy, the one who is programmed to harm you, while he, the other one, will always make you happy since he is programmed for that, just like me."

"I'm sorry."

However, I realized that what Z-dam was saying was wrong. Adam didn't make me happy yesterday. We argued, violently even, just on the simple fact that he had told me the truth. He had done the right thing, which is not always the nicest thing to do, or hear. I suddenly felt ashamed to have been so harsh with Adam. As I was getting dressed, Z-dam remained on the couch, looking downcast. He looked like he had given up the fight. I had the impression that, like Adam, he didn't look so well, which was even more obvious when he was that miserable. Although I was only half-dressed, I handed him his underwear, which he put on without a word. I then sat beside him and put my arms around him.

"Maybe I should have casted that spell on me too so you would have some company."

"Right." he replied disdainfully. "The male shadow doll with the female shadow one and the couple of the light dolls that matches—A half of you would have never been enough to me anyway." he added pitifully.

"I have no idea of what the three of us will become."

Although I could feel what a cost it was for him, Z-dam wrapped his arms around my waist and stroked my hair. I jumped when I heard the entrance door open and remembered "his" existence at the exact moment our eyes met, with me sitting on the couch and him standing at the doorframe, his eyes staring at us and his mouth half open.

"Adam, wait, listen to me! I can explain!"


	11. Chapter 10 Vaudeville

It was just like vaudeville; I just wish we hadn't been our own actors and audience. Adam was standing there, frozen like time had stopped at the moment he had opened the door. I stood up and wanted to go to him but the threatening aura emanating from him made me understand I'd better stay where I was. Dazed, in an almost robotic gesture, he took a few steps inside the apartment and closed the door then turned at us again as Z-dam was standing up by my side, both of us wearing only our underwear and shirts. Adam looked at the both of us before he finally started talking:

"I guessed I missed an episode—I, I just saw Viviane. She told me she would call you soon."

The eyes of both alter-egos met and Adam glared at Z-dam before he looked at me again. He then sounded like he was talking to himself, as if to convince himself about what was going on:

"Cheating on me with myself—I don't even know how to react to that."

"She did nothing wrong." Z-dam intervened. "She only left in order to forget you because you hurt her. And I'm the one who consoled her. Not you."

He wrapped his arm around my waist possessively as I was praying we could go back in time, even just a few minutes ago.

"Let he go."

"No. She's mine, you hear me?"

He tightened his grip on me up to the point he could almost scratch me through the cloth.

"I love her. And she loves me too, even though I have all your faults!"

"Leave her alone!"

"Let go of me, Z-dam."

These words I had just said made Z-dam's grip freeze on my waist and I freed myself from it and went back to Adam. As he ended up facing the both of us, Z-dam in his turn looked completely stupefied. His stare kept going back and forth between Adam and me.

"Morgane—please-" I heard him beg with a weak voice.

I felt a lump on my throat, which worsened when Adam put his warm hand on my shoulder.

"I think you'd better leave now, Z-dam." he added calmly.

Z-dam kept the same calm expression as he put his clothes back on in front of us with unbearable slowness. He then walked towards the entrance, not without letting his bilious yellow eyes stare back at me, then Adam, one last time. I instantly noticed how sick they both looked now: both of their faces were sunken and marked with deep black circles under their eyes. Finally, without threats or violence, clenched teeth or fists, he left the both of us as we stood there, listening carefully until we couldn't hear the sound of his boots in the building any longer.

I then turned towards Adam whose hand had left my shoulder and whose eyes were now staring at nothing. I raised my head in hopes of catching his attention.

"Adam-" I whispered shyly.

He bowed his head.

"Viviane told me it's impossible to cancel the spell. I made her promise to call you anyway."

I knew it already. That's why the page I had stolen was in the book of forbidden spells. Adam walked away from me in order to pick up my clothes on the floor. My brain seemed to be turned off. For several minutes, all I could do was barely pronounce a few syllables:

"Adam, I, I"

"Get dressed."

I obeyed his order docilely. Once I was dressed in my outfit of yesterday again, he invited me to sit on the couch and held my hands in his.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No—he didn't force me, I did it all by myself." I added, still in wait, full of hope and fear at the same time.

He stared at me intensely. The one I considered my most precious, most faithful ally- my creation and, at this moment, the holder of my destiny, brought me closer and put my head on his heart, sighing.

"I'm the good guy, remember. Of course I forgive you, stupid."

Hearing the muffled, regular sound of his heart against my ear, I let tears flow on his shirt and he stroked my hair until I fell asleep on him. I knew definitely not what was ahead of us, but Adam's decision had been the best so far: my meeting with my ex-best friend would surely help me to clarify our situation.


	12. Chapter 11 Impromptu circle

"Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd be without you." I whispered in her ear.

"Don't thank me." she cut me off coldly. "I didn't come to reconcile with you, I came to help you and Adam before it's too late."

"Be quiet."

The oldest sister, Helen's deep voice - usually softer and almost youngest than ours - sounded solemn.

We closed our eyes again. On the small altar where the rosewood statuette of Venus was standing, all of Helen's books had been placed in a precise order, from the most to the least ancient, and the stolen page given back, folded in four and put at the feet of the statuette. As all our sisters were absent from this improvised circle of prayers, we were all placed in a triangle around the altar in the position of the "salute to the sun": on our knees with our brow on the ground and our arms stretched forward. I had never summoned the goddess before. However, if Helen herself didn't have the answer to our problem, we had no choice but to summon our godmother herself.

Suddenly, Viviane let out a shriek and rolled on the floor, struggling against nothing. I tried to run towards her, but Helen stopped me.

"Leave her alone. The transfer is long because it was too soon for her to take our Mother in. She needs to free more space for her soul. I didn't plan for it to happen before a long time."

Standing there, a few feet away from her, I watched her moan and grip on her own shoulders, her knees, her hair… Then she closed her eyes with her hair sticking to her brow with sweat and stood up again. When she opened her eyes again, they had a strange sparkle and a serene, kindly smile was drawn on her vermillion lips. She made a gesture to invite us to come closer and Helen bent on her knees to kiss her white feet. I myself didn't dare to look her in the eyes because of how intimidated I was by her beauty. She talked to us in a language Helen had to translate:

"It's Latin. She says it's been a while since we both met. We only meet in two cases: the circle's anniversary and…"

Fifty-year old Helen bowed her head like a little girl and joined her hands. The apparition talked again. However her tone of voice had changed this time. Helen nodded at her words.

"She says it's because of you, Morgane."

Viviane looked me in the eyes and I was petrified. This woman was definitely neither my friend nor even human. Her smile had faded and she was now staring at me like she could absorb my soul through my eyes. I was then flabbergasted to hear her talk to me in English, even though her voice was still changed:

"You used one of my sortileges to corrupt a lover. You abused the trust of my most faithful priestess. Now your lover is dying, twice. Why bringing such an affront in my circle? What are you hoping for now?"

The blood was surging through my temples and my mouth was dry. I answered in an almost hoarse voice to the goddess:

"I—would like to reverse the Prince Charming spell. I don't know what to do anymore."

Viviane came closer to me and took my face in her hands. Her knees were trembling and her fingers were ice-cold.

"I know you. We, gods, know all mortals as if we had given birth to them ourselves. And you are not a priestess worthy of my name if you repeat the same mistakes Lady Venus made."

I was so stunned by this answer I didn't know what to say. However, Helen raised her head and explained:

"Venus is and always will be the most beautiful woman in the universe, the symbol of love and passions related to it. There was a time she was married to Vulcan, the blacksmith god of Zeus' bolts of lightning. He was ugly, had a limp, and the only reason why he could ask Zeus to allow him to marry Venus – who didn't love him back- was because he had trapped her and wouldn't free her until she said yes. In secret, she would go see Mars, the god of war. But she was then denounced to her husband who became jealous and forged a gold net which he spread on the marital bed. As the lovers laid on the bed, naked, the net closed on them and, as their nudity was exposed, Vulcan called all the gods of Olympia so they could laugh at them."

Viviane grimaced, listening to the story and turned at me again.

"The story is millenniums old yet I still feel the marks of the ropes on my stomach like they dated from yesterday. The lesson has been learned. I wanted to cheat and deceive, ended up stuck in my own trap and humiliated not one but two men, my husband and my lover."

Viviane had trouble breathing now, air coming in and out of her nostrils difficultly.

"I don't have much time left—Vulcan was a good artisan. I never could have freed myself from this net on my own: the more we would struggle, the more our shame was visible and pressed against the gold ropes. You must pierce the net you've woven."

"But how?"

"The ropes are strong—Pierce the net-"

"How?" I repeated, hung upon her words.

But Viviane staggered and collapsed. Helen leaned over her and maintained her on the side as she was convulsing with tears in her eyes. Finally, Helen took out a tissue of her pocket and wiped the tears and the sweat off her face as she was waking up.

"Was—everything okay?" she asked in a weak voice.

Helen nodded.

"You're still weak, sweetheart. If you can't regain strength, you can stay here for tonight if you want. Morgane, you can stay too."

"What did she mean by _"pierce the net"_?" I asked, puzzled.

Helen gave me a serious look.

"It means what it means. You must fight this evil by the root."

Down on the ground, Viviane was breathing slowly, trying to calm it down and sit straight in spite of the efforts the trance had taken her. She tried to stand up but she was still too weak. I kneeled beside her.

"Viviane-" I whispered as she turned her head at me. "Thank you. For everything. I don't deserve a friend like you—I'm sorry."

Silently, she used the last bit of strength she had to raise her arms, wrap them around my neck and hug me.

"Good luck."

I thanked her and finally left them both as they greeted me again at the entrance of Helen's apartment, grinning.

"I will always hold you close to my heart." I told Viviane.

"Why are you talking in the future tense? I always hold you close to mine, in the present!"

I smiled at her and closed the door. I could have never told her that, in the present, everything was still left to do and, like Helen said, I had to fix it all up and fight the evil by the root. On my way home, my phone vibrated and I received a message:

"Come back. Hurry. I need you. Adam."


	13. Chapter 12 Pierce the net

I precipitated towards the apartment. There I saw Adam, lying down on the floor of the living-room and I ran towards him. When he turned his head at me, I screamed in horror:

"Adam, what's wrong with you?"

Of course I knew what was wrong but that day he looked so scary I couldn't help screaming that: he was now as white as chalk, his eyes red and his skin wrinkled like parchment here and there. Plus one of his eyes was black, swelling and his nose was bleeding. When he recognized me, he looked at me with panic in his eyes and articulated something very fast and barely audible.

"What did you say? Talk slower, tell me what's wrong!"

"A—trap."

The window behind me shattered and I turned to face my worst nightmare: Z-dam was now standing in front of me and Adam. His eyes marked with dark red veins were shining with furor which brightened the yellow of his iris like the eyes of a snake. His make-up had run down and drawn black rivers on his cheeks like flames devouring his face. His face was so emaciated I could see the shape of his skull and a stream of saliva mixed with blood was oozing from the corner of his mouth. He clenched his fist, looking like a black colossi ready to crush us. He was holding a piece of a broken wooden chair in his hand so tight his joints were white with tension. Behind him, the rest of the chair was dispersed on the ground among shards of broken glass, just like the rest of the furniture that belonged to me and Adam.

Even though I was shaking, I managed to stay between him and Adam, using my body as a barrier. Z-dam took a phone –Adam's- out of his pocket and threw it to his head. However, I intercepted it before it could reach it.

"So here we are now." Z-dam exclaimed. "No more games. I've been too patient with you."

"That's right." I replied. "You're right. You were all right. We've gone too far because of me. But I still need time to find a solution. Listen-"

"I won't listen to you anymore! Never again!" he yelled and threw the last piece of chair to my face, which I barely avoided. "This comedy has lasted long enough now. It's time to put an end to it.— Dear _"A-dam"_, since we have to die, let's see who'll reach the gates of hell first!"

I saw Adam trying to stand up. Z-dam noticed it too and brought his hand to his pocket with a devilish smile. But before he could take out his knife, some blind instinct made me jump on his arm and bite it through the leather as hard as I could. He screamed in pain, surprised, and grabbed me by the hair. Nonetheless, I managed to catch his knife as I felt other arms pull me off him and throw me on the couch. I then heard the muffled sound of a punch.

Adam was standing on his feet and tried to hit Z-dam a second time but he dodged it and they kept fighting in an effort to dominate one another. Yet that day the opposing strengths were unequal: Z-dam's was increased tenfold by rage and pain. He swung his skull like a mace so hard against his opponent's, Adam stumbled and fell backwards. I let out a scream and hesitated to go help him, powerless. However, Z-dam's madness seemed exclusively focused on his alter-ego as he walked towards him and grabbed him by the hair. Adam was too groggy to struggle and so, half-dragged, half stepping back, he ended up in front of the broken chair, lying there like a corpse. From his position, he grabbed Z-dam's collar and pulled him to the ground where they fought once more, rolling on the floor. I could see shards of glass on the floor become embedded in the palms of their hands, the sick fury that made them cling on to each other and draw blood flowers on themselves, their clothes and the light-colored wooden planks of the floor. I could see both faces of the man I love tear each other apart and struggle in the invisible net.

However, Z-dam had the upper hand again and pushed Adam against the frame of the shattered window, giving him no choice but to lean backwards towards the outside air and the pavement four floors underneath it.

Out of control, Z-dam pushed with all his strength, puffing intensely, his face twisted with insanity as Adam's was tensed with fright. I yelled when his feet left the floor.

"No!"

Pierce the net. Fight the evil by the root.

Silence- Their wheezing breathings stopped and they both froze, looking in my direction. I stood still with unspeakable pain and my hands joined on the knife plunged up the hilt in my stomach.

"I accept you—I accept you-" I repeated in a weak voice.

My head was spinning. My knees weakened and my head hit the floor with my nose against it. I felt the hilt of the knife hit the ground and make me turn on the side. I heard two identical screams then saw a big white flash in the room. The world was already blurring and darkening. I was cold.

I felt strong arms turn me and rest my head in the bend of an elbow. There I could see the most beautiful vision in the world.

"Morgane! What the hell did you do?"

"Adam—you're back."

My boyfriend Adam was holding me in his arms, with his grey-blue eyes with a thin line of black make-up, with raven black hair but rosy complexion. His face was intact and the blood was gone. I smiled even though my teeth were chattering.

"I accept you—as you are. Adam."

"I love you!" he exclaimed with tears in his eyes.

I felt something warm and wet spread in my back and saw, as I turned my head lightly, a large flower of blood bloom underneath me. Adam held me tight against him. He was shaking like a child.

"—I forgive you for everything. Let's forget about all this, let's start over. Don't leave. Come on, keep talking; don't fall asleep. Stay with me!"

"Why? I brought you nothing but trouble. I only did as I pleased and people suffered around me."

"Stop talking like that! These aren't your last words! I don't want it!"

"Don't be so loud. Would you please-?"

I raised my eyes at him and he understood. Gently, like he would with a ragdoll, he brought me closer to him so my head was now resting against his chest. His face was drenched with sobs and I felt tears fall on the top of my head as I listened to his heartbeat. I felt ready to go to sleep like this, cradled by the rhythm of life that was beating in him.

"Silly-" I said in an undertone. "It is only now, after all this, that I love you like I always should have: just naturally, without asking myself any question."

"Then—Go on as long as you can. I'm not letting you go. I'm here."

I smiled to Adam and kept my eyes closed. His shoulders had still spasms of sobs but they calmed down little by little until the sound of our common breathing was the only thing that would break the silence in the room. I couldn't see anymore and the blood that had invaded my mouth was preventing me from breathing but I didn't cough. Now that the price of my mistake was paid, I felt ready to go. In the distance, I heard the vague sound of a door opening and somebody started to sing.

It was a very soft female voice. It sounded like Viviane's except clearer and even more harmonious. It sounded like she was singing in Latin.

I sighed with delight as I felt myself fly away and leave this world. Little by little, the heat flooded back in my veins and my throat cleared itself. Although the chant seemed eternal, the voice stopped and I opened my eyes again. The neon light of a hospital, Viviane, Adam—When I realized what had happened, I smiled. They smiled back at me and I was greeted with a warm rain of kisses on my face. In my head, I understood the lyrics of the chanted blessing. When Viviane left us alone, Adam laid down beside me in the bed and took me by the waist.

"What are you thinking about, honey?"

I turned and whispered in his ear:

"I think that, with or without pollution, the starry sky will always be beautiful and nobody will ever be able to change that."

**The End.**


End file.
